Supporting a child through the experience of bullying can be distressing and painful for both you and your child and it can be extremely challenging to manage our own feelings of fear, worry, anger and frustration. However, our reassuring presence and calmness is what our children need to help them through this.
Knowing that someone is by your side supporting you through difficult times is invaluable.
-Listen
This can be very challenging when your own emotions are heightened but it’s so important to let them share what has happened without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. This might take some time so go at their pace and try not to rush them to tell you everything all at once.
Reassure them that coming to you was the right thing to do and you feel very proud of them for being able to share these difficult experiences with you.
Your child knowing that they can come to you to speak about anything that’s troubling them is incredibly powerful.
-Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know that it’s okay to feel angry, hurt, scared, or upset. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that it’s not their fault this is happening and you are there for them.
-Involve Them in Next Steps
Encourage them to think about what they would like to happen next e.g. ‘What would you like to happen now?’, ‘I’m here for you, how can I help?’ ‘How would it feel if I spoke to your school?
As much as you possibly can, try to avoid doing something without your child’s consent (age dependent).
Getting them involved in this way promotes problem solving, encourages them to be part of the solution and importantly gives them back some control.
-Collaborate with the School
Keep a record of what your child has reported.
Familiarise yourself with the school’s Anti-Bullying and Behaviour policies (if not available on the school’s website, request copies). This should detail their procedures for reporting and documenting incidents and actions they can take. It’s also helpful to have copies of their behaviour policy and complaints procedures.
Schedule a meeting with relevant school personnel to share what your child has reported to you and to determine actions/measures the school can take.
Allow some time for the school to act. They may need to investigate, monitor the situation and take appropriate measures.
Keep lines of communication open and follow up on any actions taken. Arrange how you can keep in touch e.g. email/phone and schedule a follow-up meeting.
-Teach Coping Strategies
Help your child develop coping strategies to manage their feelings about bullying. Techniques such as deep breathing, positive self-talk & affirmations e.g. ‘I can do this’, ‘I am loved’, ‘I am a good person’, ‘I can handle tough times’, journaling, or engaging in creative activities can serve as healthy outlets for their emotions. Whatever works best for them.
-Role-Play Responses
Practise possible responses to bullying situations together. Role-playing can help your child feel more prepared to handle potential encounters. Teach them to assertively stand up for themselves if they feel safe doing so.
Avoid encouraging retaliation such as violence and aggression. This can lead to negative and unpredictable results including your child getting hurt, bullying increasing or blame assigned to them.
-Build Their Confidence
Engage in activities that bolster your child’s self-esteem. This can include pursuing hobbies they enjoy, encouraging them to try new sports or joining clubs where they can meet new friends. Empowering your child with confidence can help them navigate bullying situations better.
-Promote Self-Care
This is not only important for your child but for you too. Take time to engage in relaxing activities together and/or separately. It’s important for children to learn to switch off from stressful situations and do things which they find relaxing and enjoyable.